Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
