wanna go halves on a baby?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
