I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
