I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
