I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
