now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
