At least make sure they are 18
Why
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
