we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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