I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
