For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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