i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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