I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
