We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
