A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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