so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My vagina is very pro this idea
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
