glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
