i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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