I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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