If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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