yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize