After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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