Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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