Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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