yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
