Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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