exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
