Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
