Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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