he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Fuck me I smell like cheese
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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