Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry about my life...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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