Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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