Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
