yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
