i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
