so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
