Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize