you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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