Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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