you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
