So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
