k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
