went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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