Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
