I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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