I wannas sexs uuuuu
Where is the hickey?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
