The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
