brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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