This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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