I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
