This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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