Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
