his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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