Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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