On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
