the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
