Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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