whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just invented taco cereal.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
