I hope mine doesn't look like that
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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