dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
