i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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