is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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