she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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