Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
