Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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