dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
3pm strippers are depressing
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He better not be in your backpack
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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