i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
