Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
