You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize