I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
