youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
