Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
