i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
